Vogue Cover Girl Keira Knightley: The “WTF” Heard Round the World

If Anna Wintour Wanted a Pirate, Johnny Depp

Would Have Been a Better Pick

THUMP. It’s the sound that says “Fall” to fashionistas the world over: super-sized editions of fashion magazines arriving on newsstands. It’s like Christmas morning when everything is bright and shiny and new. Heaven.

With magazine circulation and ad sales down for the all-important September issues, ShoeMinx was eager to see what tony covers would entice us to lust, crave and covet the luxe products within the glossy pages. Fashion Bible Vogue is not immune from the ad slump - down 674 from 725 last year - so expectations to knock it out of the box with a big celeb get, rested squarely on Anne Wintour’s Chanel-padded shoulders.

Pirates of the Caribbean actress and Vogue cover girl Keira Knightley is a puzzling choice for more reasons than one. Knightley last appeared on the June 2007 cover, which was the second-lowest seller of that half of the year. But WHAT is up with her hair? Too much styling product? Or is it some kind of artistic vision that mere mortals not named Andre Leon Talley are incapable of interpreting without an encyclopedic knowledge of erudite references and high-priced European cigarettes? Whatever it is, it’s not pretty. For a publication of Vogue’s venerable status, that’s the ultimate fashion crime.

A surefire cover-saver, these sweet violet Dior Suede Wedges:

Or these knuckle-bitingly sexy Manolo Blahnik pumps…

Adding to the cover let-down is the lack of extraordinarily desirous accoutrements that make us consider sending in slightly less than the full credit card payment. A tall order, but a killer shoe could have diverted attention from Knightley’s weed-whacked hair and channeled the horror in a more positive direction to product envy. If ever a cover was in need of direction it would be this one.  As for Knightley’s hair? A hat. Definitely.


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August 12, 2008 | Filed Under CELEBRITIES, Keira Knightly, SHOE TYPE 

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