Jennifer Lopez is One Hot Mama in Cavalli

Sexy Senora Upstages Bradgelina at Curious Case of Benjamin Button Screening

“Hola, amigas!  It is I, Jennifer - don’t call me JLo - Lopez. Si, Jenny from the Block is back and I brought two of my friends.  LOOK at me.  I command you.  I ran a marathon after giving birth to twins and what did I get from you people?  Nada.  That’s right.  No parade, no breathless adoration.  Instead, you fawn over some little actress and her new additions.  Angelina Jolie is nothing compared to me.  Can she sing like me? Can she dance like me?  No and no.  I’ve seen her clothes, so I know she can’t pretend to design clothes like me.  Seriously, how many boring black dresses does she own anyway?  And her ass?  Flat as a pancake.

Time for Plan B.  Oh, I am so clever.  See how I effortlessly managed to slip in the title of my upcoming movie, like tequila with lime . . . smooth.  I am the promo queen–my movies, my music, my clothing line, my babies and marriage, yes they are all for sale.  I would sell my very soul if it would land me another magazine cover.  So here I am at the premiere of some movie that I’m not even in with the girls up and out, looking all kinds of muy caliente. I HYPNOTIZE with them. Is this what it takes to make you pay attention to me again?  Take it all in–the Cavalli gown, the perfectly matched clutch and let us not forget, my signature pose and open-mouth pout. Try to look away. YOU CANNOT.

My Marc, the skinny little love, will not like me showing off my assets like this.  The poor hombre must know that I only pretend that he is El Jefe.  It’s called “acting.” Ha!  Poor man is delusional from hunger.  It is my triple-threat-iness that keeps us in the glamorous lifestyle that is my due as an international super-diva.  And what’s the point of getting knocked up if you aren’t going to make the most of your new cleavage when you are fit again?  Honestly, I am surrounded by amateurs.  Well, the twins and I have successfully managed to upstage Saint Angelina.  My work here is done.”

Set off a sultry goddess gown in glam silver heels like these by Marciano.

By ShoeMinx Senora Paige Muller


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January 29, 2009 | Filed Under Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, CELEBRITIES, Film Opening, High Heels, Jennifer Lopez, SHOE TYPE, Sandals, Sexy heels 

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