Fergie Goes Goth(ish) In Arresting Jimmy Choos

Fashion Police Says, “Halt, In the Name Of Bad Fashion (Sorry, Jimmy C.)”

Why so glum, Fergie?  If we had just gotten hitched to hottie Josh Duhmel we’d be showing a little (OK, a lot) more excitement.  You know that crabby mug you’re sporting, plus the Avril Lavigne goes goth get-up, is going to kick off a round of “Trouble in Paradise” rumors.

As newbie bride Scarlett Johnston also turned up recently with a dark new ‘do, we’re noodling if this is a celeb trend in the making, like the persistent wearing of hippy dippy headbands.  But much like the return of 80s fashion and those loathed shoulder pads (get ready peeps, its coming), just because something is trendy doesn’t mean it’s cute.  Which is pretty much what this look is not.

Fergie’s dress shows off her legs nicely but one side is oddly higher than the other.  Is it asymmetrical on purpose or is she a victim of errant static cling?  And though we do like the pop of color in her Jimmy Choos, the ankle strap business is heavily reminiscent of Michelle Rodriguez’ house arrest ankle bracelets.  Which just makes us think of Beecher and Adibizi and the theme song from Oz. Fashion takes its inspiration from everywhere, but we’re pretty sure Emerald City is not what the designer had in mind. Try these G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S BCBG ‘Mack’ sandals, instead.

But the biggest fug of all is the Duchess’ new hair.  No doubt expensive and probably styled with products made from the rarest practically extinct ingredients, it reads: Miss Clairol dye no. 5 done in the hotel bathroom.  Fergs, this color isn’t working for you.  That plus the center part is just all kinds of harsh, making you look like a trannilcious Priscilla Presley impersonator.  Kim Vu managed to rock out Britney’s weave (we’ve almost forgotten those pics of her with a pair of clippers in her hand) and could fix you right up with some highlights and loose waves to mellow out the meth-face.  But hey, maybe Josh is digging it.  Thanks to Mrs. Duhmel’s TMI habit, we wouldn’t be entirely surprised.  Nauseated, but not surprised.

By ShoeMinx Glamour Girl Paige Muller


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