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Katie “Jordan” Price Walks on the Wild Side in Uggs

What, No Product to Pimp in Some Crazy Getup? We Almost Didn’t Recognize You!

Believe it or not, this is the best glamour girl Katie “Famewhore” Price has looked in forever. There’s no migraine-inducing pink, visible boob or threat of an accidentally-on-purpose flash of her business. Based on those sub-par standards, this is a wee sartorial success. Like if Lindsay Lohan wore pants instead of leggings for even a second. WE GET IT LINDS. You are a walking billboard for your line of ridiculously overpriced leg coverings. Just because you put them on one leg at a time doesn’t qualify them as pants, you know. Anyhoo.

On the other hand, Katie’s leopard leggings are eerily reminiscent of Aunt Lill down in Boca smoking unfiltered cigarettes, drinking a little afternoon pick me up of gin and juice. What? Like your family is so perfect. And paired with boots that put the “ug” in fugly? While we give a point to Katie for putting the girls away, she loses approximately 100,000 points for the hideous footwear. A cute ankle boot or a tall riding-style boot (no, not the pink ones from your equestrian line, Jordan), like these by Franco Sarto, would have been a HUGE improvement.

Does anyone know when Katie’s visa expires and she’s recalled back to England? Between Paris Hilton, Bai Ling, Phoebe Price and the entire Kardashian clan, we’ve got more than our fair share of premiere seat fillers on this side of the pond already, thank you very much.

By ShoeMinx All-star Paige Muller

Megan Fox Hits The MTV Red Carpet In Louboutin’s “Differa” Heels, H’wood’s Newest “It” Shoe

We Fear Her Boyfriend Brian Austin Green Is Home Alone Making “Music”

With the Transformers sequel right the corner, it’s been all Megan Fox, all the time. She’s outed herself as a bisexual, but really, who in Hollywood isn’t these days? Being bi is the new black. And she’s trash talked Angelina Jolie. We’re sure Angie stays up late crying on Brad’s shoulder in distress. Frankly, we’re weary of Megan already but then again we’re not men.

Megan gave the pimply adolescent boys at the MTV Movie Awards a thrill with acres of bare skin in a Dolce & Gabanna strapless brocade mini dress. The dress is a shortened version of the one Beyonce wore to last year’s Oscar (which we hated!) but we’re adult-y enough to swallow the adjacent hate and admit it’s kind of cute on her.

And those shoes — Christian Louboutin Differa sandals — are slap your mama sexy. Move those played out YSL’s to the back of the closet; they’re soooo last season. Christian Louboutin’s Differa is getting around H’wood more than Doug Reinhardt! It’s smoking hot in every sense of the word, despite its impracticality (the heels are 140mm, or about five and a half inches), its price tag ($1,495 for the plain black patent ones), and its ability to make the wearer look like a regular at an S&M club.

But Megan’s Chernobyl day-glo orange skin and oddly slicked back hair are an epic fail. Is she a victim of product overload like Robert Pattinson? Are her plastic parts molting? Dear lord, is she trying to tone down the sexy because she (gulp) wants to be taken seriously as an actress? For the love of Restylane. Honey, you’ve got about two, maybe three, years before things begin to sag and some new hottie starts snagging all the trophy parts so just smile, nod and make sure you have a good accountant ’cause you know Brian Austin Green will just spend all your cash those ridiculous hats of his.