One Of These Days Paula And Miley Cyrus Will Both Finally Wear Something Age-Appropriate

It might be possible to get a buzz from whatever cocktail of crazy on the rocks with a side of lime Paula Abdul is consuming just from looking at her. ‘Cause clearly the last time she had a sober moment was in the early 2000s when Avril Lavigne was all the faux emo/riot girrrl rage and teens flocked to Hot Topic for all their “life is like, so hard, and I hate my parents, wah” accessories.  So in a misguided effort try to look younger and funkier and more in-tune with These Kids Today, the American Idol judge styled herself in her angsty best.  HT was evidently having some kind of five for $10 sale.

But as Paula’s outfits go, it’s not even near her worst.  The mounds of chains.  The fingerless gloves.  The chunky black boots.  All that’s missing is the chipped black nail polish and  “f**k you, mom and dad” expression on her face.  Though with her Botox problem, doing more than blinking and stringing a bunch of slurred words together in something distantly related to English at the same time is a mystery medical science has yet to conquer. So yes, remarkably this Flashdancing “Like There’s No Tomorrow” in a bizarre version of Michael Jackson’s “Bad” video look is actually an improvement.  Just think how great the choreography in that video would be.  You just know Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz is scoping her outfit for pieces he wants to borrow.

And at least Paula erased the moustache Simon Cowell drew on her.  Normally she would have coordinated it with an eye patch and swashbuckler’s sword.  Which would have been all kinds of awesome.

Step out in style in these ‘Saturn’ ankle booties from Charles by Charles David.  They’re “Crazy Cool.”

By ShoeMinx Idol Paige Muller

The Name Of The Game Is Seeing And Being Seen

New York Fashion Week is about the celebs who attend to grab free swag as much as the clothes that walk down the catwalk.  Who sits where, who wears what and who was blocked at the gate, the drama in Bryant Park is like the Devil Wears Prada crossed with Project Runway, with ten times the egos, bitchy attitudes and hair spray.

Case in point:

Oh, to be a frazzled, unpaid intern hanging out on this tension-filled tableau!  Check out the stink eye and “your catchphrase is stupid” vibes Keeping Up With the Kardashians star Kim Kardashian is giving Paris (doing her best Anna Wintour impression) and Nicky Hilton.  It’s like the Hatfields vs the McCoys.  Or the Real Housewives of Orange County vs High-Definition TV.

One Tree Hill star Sophia Bush has become so ubiquitous at FW that we are starting to suspect that she gets paid to show up like it’s her second job.  As much as we admire her plucky courage and restraint in not switching her ex Chad Michael Murray’s hair gel with hair remover after their split, we can’t fathom how she keeps scoring invites since you see her more on the CW than on the red carpet.  At the Reem Acra show, the small-screen actress kept it classic and chic in a rich two-toned dress by the designer, worn with the de rigueur YSL Tribute Two pump.

Style star Sarah Jessica Parker of Sex and the City fame was sitting pretty at Alexander Wang in an edgy head-to-toe black ensemble which she paired with black Maison Martin Margiela split-toe boots.  ShoeMinxers will recall that the dress-for-less Bitten designer had the fashion world buzzing when she sported a pair of ballet flats last year with the avant-garde designer’s signature silhouette.  Could SJP have been scouting looks for the SATC sequel?

These black criss-cross heels are oh so very Carrie.

Taking a break between fights with GF Sam Ronson, Lindsay Lohan’s skinner-than-usual frame caused a flashbulb frenzy at Charlotte Ronson’s show.  That, plus her see-through top with stirrup sleeves and built-in bra-strap ventilation system from the designer’s collection which she wore with a pair of Loubs.  Seriously, doesn’t that top look like one of those Ice Capades meets early 90s music video bodysuits that have snaps at the crotch?

We’ll pass on the top but say “charge it!” to these cut-out shoes from the collection.

Since we’re still slogging through sleet and slush and counting down the days until the first spring pedicure-ready pair of sandals, footwear for fall 2009 is so not our radar.

But the trend in cut-out booties, like these ‘Tammy’ boots by L.A.M.B., means they can be worn year-round.  One style for all four seasons?  It’s investment dressing and an economic stimulus purchase all in one.

By ShoeMinx Fashionista Paige Muller