This is it.  In just a few hours, fashion and Hollywood fantasy will collide at the Kodak Theatre for the 81st annual Academy Awards (the Oscars to the rest of us).  And somewhere in the celluloid city, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are plotting their red carpet navigation with the skill and precision of a military strike team.  Or a team of stylists backstage at Fashion Week.

Between host Hugh Jackman’s tongue-in-cheek, yet mentally tantalizing tease of a “naked Oscars,” a possible Aniston-Brangelina red carpet rendezvous, rumors of Slumdog Millionaire star Freida Pinto’s secret marriage (no way will Ryan Seacrest and Guilana Depandi-Rancic ignore that gossip-y elephant in the room–or red carpet, as it were), the combined hotness of Twilight star Robert Pattinson and High School Musical’s flat-ironed hunk Zac Efron, who actually wins what awards is just the icing on a three-tiered cake of glorious-and-ridiculous excess, glamor and gossip goodness.

To whet your appetite until the spectacle begins, we present the ShoeMinx Pre-Oscars Interlude.

One-Million Dollar Shoe Discount. The effects of the plunging economy will rear its ugly head — or maybe we should say sole — on the red carpet along with all those plunging necklines.  Designer Stuart Weitzman has scrapped plans to send a pair of his $1 million dollar shoes down the crimson carpet, saying: “We very seriously took into account the current economic situation and what is considered appropriate in the world of fashion today, and we felt this was not a year to be extravagant.”

Last year, the fancy-footwear designer chose “Juno” screenwriter Diablo Cody to wear his specially designed diamond-encrusted shoes to the ceremony, but Cody served up a plate of STFU, calling the selection “a cheesy publicity stunt.” She opted to wear a pair of simple gold flats under her flowing Dior leopard print dress instead.

Weitzman hopes his “big fan” Angelina Jolie, the best-actress Oscar nominee for The Changeling, who previously donned nude Weitzman heels to the Screen Actors Guild Awards and the Golden Globes, will again wear a pair of his shoes to the ceremony.

Anne Hathaway Says “Yes” to the Dress. E! reveals that best-actress nominee Anne Hathaway is “in love” with her Oscar dress.  According to a partygoer at Perrier-Jouët champagne’s Women in Film cocktail soiree, “She said it’s a little out of her comfort level but hopes people love it as much as she does!”  Our fingers are crossed that the usually “Best Dressed” star avoids dipping her toes in the “WTF are you wearing?” goth pool that sank Gwyneth Paltrow at the 2002 ceremony.

Check the batteries in your remote and get the popcorn ready.  The Oscar fashion bash and awards anxiety is about to kick off.

By ShoeMinx Red Carpet Watcher Paige Muller

Besides Brad Pitt, That Is . . .

Yawn.  Another day.  Another black outfit.  Jennifer Aniston continues her style rut on the red carpet for He’s Just Not That Into You.  If only she would follow the subliminal advice being offered by the bold, italic “Not” snapped in the step-repeat board behind her:  “For the love of all things holy, do NOT wear another black dress or pants-suit.  Your body is amazing.  Imagine how great you’d look if you WORE A COLOR FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, LIKE, EVER. GOD.” Honestly, how can she be bold enough to go commando on the cover of GQ yet be such a red-carpet snooze?

You know, when you think about it, Jen and her arch rival Angelina actually have a lot in common.  Hold on, before you rush off to see if those Team Jen and Team Angie t-shirts still fit, hear us out.  They’re both crazy hot and super talented. Both tend to do only one thing or another with their hair. And they have an “either or” approach when it comes to dressing: EITHER the black one OR the white one.  If they were to ever sport something as weird and crazy as say YELLOW or something, the celebrity fashion world would collapse in a collective state of shock.  Angie’s recent trip aboard the SS Banana Boat, notwithstanding. One bash of color among a sea of blah is not a life preserver from style rut island.

And evidently neither are fans of getting things hemmed.  Again, here’s where that “Nottie” advice would be helpful to Jen:  “The whole MOST SHOCKING CELEBRITY BREAK-UP EVER was like three years ago — although in some ways it feels like ten, and in others, as if it were yesterday, given that you STILL talk about it every chance you get.  You, and everyone else, could just move on already if you’d just shut your yap and it would probably help if you did NOT copy the same much-talked about look as your rival.  There is NO way you weren’t gloating about her 80’s Joan Collins helmet hair.  Seriously it’s as if you’re stalking her through the pages of US Weekly or something.”

Angelina has traded sporting necklaces with Billy Bob Thornton’s blood and Morticia Gomez get-ups to travel the world like Carmen San Diego with her Benetton brood saving humanity so we totally get that her priority is comfort over flash.  But Jen, you’re in your cradle-robbing cougar prime.  John Mayer may be a PR/blogging tool, but girl, dress like you’ve snagged a hottie!

Basic doesn’t mean boring. These black-and-white Giuseppe Zanotti sandals with a gold sculptured take simple to sublime.

By ShoeMinx Red Carpet Watcher Paige Muller