Fergie Goes Goth(ish) In Arresting Jimmy Choos

Fashion Police Says, “Halt, In the Name Of Bad Fashion (Sorry, Jimmy C.)”

Why so glum, Fergie?  If we had just gotten hitched to hottie Josh Duhmel we’d be showing a little (OK, a lot) more excitement.  You know that crabby mug you’re sporting, plus the Avril Lavigne goes goth get-up, is going to kick off a round of “Trouble in Paradise” rumors.

As newbie bride Scarlett Johnston also turned up recently with a dark new ‘do, we’re noodling if this is a celeb trend in the making, like the persistent wearing of hippy dippy headbands.  But much like the return of 80s fashion and those loathed shoulder pads (get ready peeps, its coming), just because something is trendy doesn’t mean it’s cute.  Which is pretty much what this look is not.

Fergie’s dress shows off her legs nicely but one side is oddly higher than the other.  Is it asymmetrical on purpose or is she a victim of errant static cling?  And though we do like the pop of color in her Jimmy Choos, the ankle strap business is heavily reminiscent of Michelle Rodriguez’ house arrest ankle bracelets.  Which just makes us think of Beecher and Adibizi and the theme song from Oz. Fashion takes its inspiration from everywhere, but we’re pretty sure Emerald City is not what the designer had in mind. Try these G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S BCBG ‘Mack’ sandals, instead.

But the biggest fug of all is the Duchess’ new hair.  No doubt expensive and probably styled with products made from the rarest practically extinct ingredients, it reads: Miss Clairol dye no. 5 done in the hotel bathroom.  Fergs, this color isn’t working for you.  That plus the center part is just all kinds of harsh, making you look like a trannilcious Priscilla Presley impersonator.  Kim Vu managed to rock out Britney’s weave (we’ve almost forgotten those pics of her with a pair of clippers in her hand) and could fix you right up with some highlights and loose waves to mellow out the meth-face.  But hey, maybe Josh is digging it.  Thanks to Mrs. Duhmel’s TMI habit, we wouldn’t be entirely surprised.  Nauseated, but not surprised.

By ShoeMinx Glamour Girl Paige Muller

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March 18, 2009 | Filed Under CELEBRITIES, Celebrity, Celebrity Shoes, Couture, Designer Shoes, Fergie, High Heels, Jimmy Choo, SHOE TYPE, Sexy heels, Women's Shoes | Leave a Comment 

2009 Oscars: Jessica Biel’s Couture Calamity

Wins ShoeMinx’s “Best Cameron Diaz Impersonation” Award

Looking at Jessica Biel’s at the Oscars we are beginning to suspect that BF Justin Timberlake, recently named GQ’s “Most Stylish Man,” has some kind of wicked mojo that saps women of their hotness and ability to dress themselves or properly comb their hair.

Now, we know the “Sexy Back” singer can’t be completely blamed for the rolled-out-of-bed-and-skipped-the-shower appearance of ex girlfriend Britney Spears, but it’s a bit suspicious that the “Womanizer” was quite cute, though a bit tickety-tacky (those matching denim outfits they wore in 2001 were a scream!) when they were dating, but post-break up suddenly it was an endless parade of ratty looking hair, bare feet in gas station bathrooms and clothes covered in Cheeto dust.

There’s Something About Mary star Cameron Diaz, GF number two, went from California cool mixed with wacky flair to “for the love of Vogue, buy an iron and do something with your hair!  That bed-head look doesn’t mean you don’t have to wash it” in record time.

Now Esquire’s “Sexiest Woman Alive” is morphing into a rumpled CamDi clone. Just look at how good she looked at the 2007 Oscars.

The 7th Heaven star turned up on the red carpet this year with faintly greasy, lackluster locks that look like she finished a round of Tae Bo with Billy Blanks before dashing to get ready.  And look! Her white Prada duchesse satin gown comes with its own detachable bib to catch stray crumbs after eating hors-d’oeuvres  at the Vanity Fair party.  So handy.  Completing the fug sandwich, Jess shoved her feet into a clunky pair of closed-toe black pumps.   We weep for a silver strappy heel, like these by Christin Michaels.  Sigh.  This look just has Blade 4: Straight to DVD written all over it.

By ShoeMinx Red Carpet Watcher Paige Muller

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February 24, 2009 | Filed Under Designer Shoes, Dress, High Heels, Jessica Biel, Pumps, SHOE TYPE, Sexy heels, Special Occasion, Women's Shoes, Zappos | Leave a Comment 

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