Beyonce Is “Obsessed” With Over-The-Top Couture & Christian Louboutins

All Aboard the Balmain Crazy Train Of Unnecessary Extra Fabric

Pardon us in advance for the plethora of Obsessed puns that are about to follow but really, the producers were just asking for it with that pun-able title.  They could have dodged the SNL potential if the flick was a really awesome updated version of Michael Douglas and Glenn Close’s epic, never-cheat-on-your-wife-or- your-psycho-lover-will-stalk-you-and-kill-your-kid’s-bunny flick.  But since Jerry O’Connell is in it, it’s pretty pretty much guaranteed to be the next the Glitter . The trailer is SO HORRIBLY BAD, we’re tempted to plunk down the $10 and change to view the cinematic calamity for ourselves and laugh our pants off.

Beyonce is so obsessed about missing out on The Oscar That Should Have Been Her’s Because Daddy Said So, she hitched her wagon to this dreck because her agent said it would really show her range.  Or some such nonsense to earn his 20% commission.  Miss B clearly bought it since she turned up on the red carpet in her usual over-the-top diva ensemble as if she’s expecting some kind of award for just showing up.  Is it a gown?  A mini dress? No, it’s the red carpet version of a skort! Which sounds like one of those anonymous movie reviews that at first read somewhat glow-y but on second glance says not much of anything:  Best comedy opening this weekend!  So to clear up any confusion lest you assume our approval: Beyonce’s has-to-be-1989-because-I-look-like-a-Whitesnake-video-vixen dress would be cute, if it actually was 1989 when bicycle shorts still counted as pants. And Tawny Kitaen was wearing it while doing splits on the hood of a fire-engine red Corvette.  Really, all that’s missing is a wind machine and random occurrences of Beyonce getting doused with water for some inexplicable reason.

Mrs. Jay-Z’s black pumps are fine but aarrgghh!, we wish TO GOD AND RACHEL ZOE she would get over her obsession (OK, we’ll stop) with matching her Loubs to her outfit.  B, nice girls don’t have to coordinate from head-to-toe anymore like Donna Reed.  We assume she’ll wear something suitable to the Razzies to get her Golden Raspberry for Best Unintentionally Hilarious Movie and Most Over-Acted Performance By An Actress With A Weave.

Black pumps, like a classic LBD, are always red carpet ready and available at ShoeCompare.com.

By ShoeMinx I’m-Not-Obsessed Fan Paige Muller

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April 25, 2009 | Filed Under CELEBRITIES, Christian Louboutin, Couture, Designer Shoes, Film Opening, Pumps, SHOE TYPE, Sexy heels | Leave a Comment 

Yee-Haw! Nicole Kidman’s Country Couture

The Former Mrs. Cruise One-Ups Katie Holmes On The Red Carpet

We admit, it took us half a tick to figure out what the heck Oscar winner Nicole Kidman was doing at the Country Music Awards.

Some kind of desperate promotion to save Australia from a Razzie nomination? What? There are cowboys and flannel shirts in the trailer so it would kind of make sense.  A PR blitz to generate buzz for an upcoming role as a botox-ed bronco rider in an Annie Oakley flick?

Oh right, she’s Keith Urban’s plus one.  He’s so man-tanned and waxed we tend to  think of him as just a really pretty prop.  Like an awesome “Screw Tom Cruise and his weak DNA” accessory.

From the front, Nic is all BUSINESS in a glittering floor-length, long-sleeve L’Wren Scott turtleneck dress, but SASSY from the back.

It’s like the sartorial equivalent of a mullet, which is both fitting for the event and a delightful lesson in similes and metaphors. She continues the coy concept with prim and proper meets wooo! open bar, peep-toe slingbacks.  Layers of whimsy!


Finish a bold look with an understated, but elegant, shoe, like these Kate Spade satin ‘Gwen’ slingbacks, available from ShoeCompare.com.

By ShoeMinx Red Carpet Watcher Paige Muller

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April 16, 2009 | Filed Under CELEBRITIES, Celebrity, Celebrity Shoes, Designer Shoes, Dress, High Heels, Nicole Kidman, SHOE DESIGNERS, SHOE TYPE, Sexy heels, Slingbacks, Women's Shoes | Leave a Comment 

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