2009 Oscars: Jessica Biel’s Couture Calamity

Wins ShoeMinx’s “Best Cameron Diaz Impersonation” Award

Looking at Jessica Biel’s at the Oscars we are beginning to suspect that BF Justin Timberlake, recently named GQ’s “Most Stylish Man,” has some kind of wicked mojo that saps women of their hotness and ability to dress themselves or properly comb their hair.

Now, we know the “Sexy Back” singer can’t be completely blamed for the rolled-out-of-bed-and-skipped-the-shower appearance of ex girlfriend Britney Spears, but it’s a bit suspicious that the “Womanizer” was quite cute, though a bit tickety-tacky (those matching denim outfits they wore in 2001 were a scream!) when they were dating, but post-break up suddenly it was an endless parade of ratty looking hair, bare feet in gas station bathrooms and clothes covered in Cheeto dust.

There’s Something About Mary star Cameron Diaz, GF number two, went from California cool mixed with wacky flair to “for the love of Vogue, buy an iron and do something with your hair!  That bed-head look doesn’t mean you don’t have to wash it” in record time.

Now Esquire’s “Sexiest Woman Alive” is morphing into a rumpled CamDi clone. Just look at how good she looked at the 2007 Oscars.

The 7th Heaven star turned up on the red carpet this year with faintly greasy, lackluster locks that look like she finished a round of Tae Bo with Billy Blanks before dashing to get ready.  And look! Her white Prada duchesse satin gown comes with its own detachable bib to catch stray crumbs after eating hors-d’oeuvres  at the Vanity Fair party.  So handy.  Completing the fug sandwich, Jess shoved her feet into a clunky pair of closed-toe black pumps.   We weep for a silver strappy heel, like these by Christin Michaels.  Sigh.  This look just has Blade 4: Straight to DVD written all over it.

By ShoeMinx Red Carpet Watcher Paige Muller


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February 24, 2009 | Filed Under Designer Shoes, Dress, High Heels, Jessica Biel, Pumps, SHOE TYPE, Sexy heels, Special Occasion, Women's Shoes, Zappos 

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