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HIGH HEEL HIJINX AT PRADA, PUCCI, RODARTE, PETER SOM AND BCBG FOR MILAN FASHION WEEK

Gives New Meaning to the Phrase “Fashion Victim”

After the spills and tumbles on the runway during Milan fashion week, the high heels for spring 2009 should probably come with a warning label and pillow as a special gift-with-purchase to cushion the fall.

Sky-high heels claimed professional prancers at several shows: two girls and others suffered stumbles at Prada; a model wobbled three times at Pucci though she managed to hold onto her dignity and not fall.

And Carrie Bradshaw’s “she’s fashion roadkill” scene from the Sex and the City movie played out in full 3D at Rodarte, Peter Som and BCBG. But despite the record number of runway calamities, Naomi Campbell’s famous catwalk fall in 1993 at Vivienne Westwood still holds the title for most infamous wipeout ever. She’s not a supermodel for nothing.

From British Vogue:

“It’s much more difficult to be beautiful and walk femininely in flats,” says the designer. “Bardot in France did it and Audrey Hepburn in America. They looked fantastic and walked like tigers, beautiful and graceful, but you can walk like a beach bum in them - then they don’t look so good.”

ShoeMinx says that the risk of falling is worth the awesomeness that elevated arches give your legs. But as a PSA to our fellow high heel fanatics, we suggest planning your footwear selection for those “see and be seen” days when all you have to do is stand still and look pretty. Be safe out there, mon amies. And look fabulous!

Be tough and keep a strong walk in these fierce Gracianna high heels from L.A.M.B.

SACHA BARON COHEN STORMS MILAN RUNWAY, DEREK ZOOLANDER STYLE

Taps Mary Kate Olsen’s BoHo Chic for Borat Sequel

For the uninitiated, fashion shows are the most serious events in the world. They’re like the style equivalent of the SATs to determine if you’ll get into a prestigious Ivy League university or end up at a community college. Time magazine reporter Joel Stein wrote:

Nobody in the audience smiles or talks; the models look like they’re on the Bataan death march; and people slowly, lifelessly clap at the end. I’ve been to political panels, criminal trials, locker rooms of playoff losers… I’ve never seen people take themselves quite this seriously. Vogue editor Anna Wintour, whom I vaguely knew as the lady who wears Prada and is remarkably similar to the Devil, has two bodyguards - that’s how serious fashion is.

Which makes comedian Sacha Baron Cohen’s cheeky Zoolander-esque storming of the runway at Milan Fashion Week that much more amusant. Parading as his alter ego, Bruno - the flamboyantly gay Austrian fashion show presenter - Cohen interrupted the fashion show of designer Agatha Ruiz de la Prada, strutting the catwalk past the shows’ models. Heightening the comic juxtaposition: audience members didn’t notice that the comic catwalk crasher was not actually a part of the fashion parade until security arrived. With apologies to fashion’s stern-faced maestros and grande dames, that’s hilarious. Seriously.

Almost unrecognizable in a blond wig and a prosthetic nose, Cohen looked like the Olsen twins older brother, right down to his voluminous boho chic runway ensemble. Come to think of it, Mary Kate has been snapped in similar getups on her NYC Starbucks runs. Note the mukluk tied jauntily to his leg, the perfect accoutrement for the “homeless people have the best style” aesthetic.

Footage from Cohen’s runway rampage could find its way into the Borat sequel slated to debut next year, Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt.

Unlike Bruno, a true fashionista would never have sported such a pedestrian boot, even for comedy. These Luichiny “Susanne” boots combine a bit of the equestrian look with edgy buckle details and an aggressively sexy heel and pointed toe, with a feminine fur ruff for appropriate seasonality. With boots this melt-the-ice gorgeous, you’ll be looking forward to winter.